Huge Movie Weekend!

Hey Everybody. I'm not even going to say anything about how long it's been since I blogged. We're going to pretend it never happened, and just jump right back into things. Otherwise I get really stressed out about composing a clever intro, and I'll likely never get around to actually sitting down and writing.

This past weekend, Karissa took Finley to Cedaredge to give GiGi and HeyDad some grandparent time. I got to stay home, work a little bit, keep the house clean for showings (we're up to almost 40... but that's for another post), and WATCH MOVIES!!!

I got about 3 months' worth of movie watching knocked out in the span of 3 days... watching 9 full movies, and starting 2 which I shut off after the obligatory 1/2 hour that I try to bestow upon every movie, no matter how horrible. I also ate a whole lot of popcorn, reeses pieces, and consumed a very satisfying quantity of Rolling Rock. Below is the list of movies, with a short little review for each. My opinions probably are't worth much, so don't put too much stock in my "reviews." But I feel like, if nothing else, I need to somehow commemorate the epic-ness of my cinema-saturated weekend. I hope I don't offend nobody.


THE LAST STARFIGHTER - Amazingly corny sci-fi from 1984. All I remembered from watching this movie as a kid was the line, "Diarrhea ..." uttered by a pre-pubescent lad while observing his older brother making out with a girl. Turns out that was still pretty much the highlight of the movie... it's so bad it was ALMOST good. Also I watched the last half with my dad, so we got to laugh at it together and have some good bonding time.

SUNSHINE - More sci-fi (?)... I must have been on a temporary outer space kick. This movie was initially amazing. The premise (restarting earth's dying sun with a nuclear bomb the size of manhattan), special effects, and overall feel were incredible. Then about 2/3 of the way through, it gets really weird, becoming an extremely confusing and chaotic monster movie. I fast-fowarded a bunch near the end, and I felt completely uninspired and unmoved when it was over. And then I saw that Danny Boyle was the director. Weird.

SHOOT 'EM UP - So, in reading about this movie, I somehow missed a description of the basic premise: a professional hitman tries to protect a newborn baby from assassins, and kills like 30,000 people. Should have maybe read more carefully. Since Finley was born, I absolutely cannot handle any depictions of babies in pain, trauma, or peril. So, I got a little uncomfortable during the ultra-violent opening scene where Clive Owen's character delivers a baby and then "cuts" the umbilical cord by shooting it with his pistol. I think it was supposed to be funny. I turned it off about 1/2 an hour in, when he tries to abandon the baby on a merry-go-round
at a park. Sorry, Clive.


RUN, FATBOY, RUN - I guess I was on a really bad movie streak for a bit there. I turned this one off at the 1/2 hour mark, despite the fact that I think Simon Pegg and Hank Azaria are both brilliant comedians. This movie just didn't work at all. No comparison to Pegg's previous masterpieces: Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.






THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS - I own this movie, and I love it. Just thought I'd watch it again. Glad I did.







SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK - Man, I wanted to love this movie so bad. I
even bought it before I saw it. And it was ok... even flirting with brilliance
for the first hour or so. But by the end, it was so bizarre, confusing, and yet
weirdly predictable and lame. I was extremely disappointed. However, maybe I'm missing something, and I need to watch it multiple times in order to fully
absorb the magnificence and beauty of the film, like Roger Ebert told me to. Maybe I will. But probably not... at least not for quite a while.

GRINDHOUSE (Double Feature) - I've wanted to watch these movies for some time, just because I love Quentin Tarantino a whole bunch. But I was prepared for something even more in-your-face. And it was.

Planet Terror - Definitely one of the most over-the-top, ridiculously violent and unrelentingly offensive things I've ever watched... But it was actually really well done and .... fun (?) to watch. I avoid zombie movies, as a rule. But this was much better than I thought it was going to be.


Deathproof - This one was way more dialogue- and character-based than I anticipated... but I shouldn't have been surprised with QT directing.
I didn't like it quite as much, and it didn't seem to have the consistent "grindhouse" feel that Planet Terror had. It was also mostly enjoyable, though, and the epic car chase at the end was - for somebody who generally hates car chases - really well done. The ending was bizarre, yet gratifying. Overall, a Meh+ from me.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL - A monstrous disaster of a film. Granted, I'm a huge sucker for apocalyptic cinema, and some of the special effects are cool. But the underlying premise ... that an alien race decides it must "save the earth" by systematically destroying humanity and removing all traces of the evils that technology and industry hath wrought upon our fragile sphere... was completely nauseating, and just plain silly. Keanu Reeves was a perfect Ted "Theodore" Logan, a great "Neo"... but he should NEVER do another movie again... EVER.

DOUBT - Two of my favorite actors in the world, and one of everybody else's.... I would watch pretty much anything Philip Seymour Hoffman or Amy Adams were in. And Meryl Streep is really good too, I guess... although I will probably never be able to disassociate her from her magnificent role in "The River Wild". Basically, this movie is fantastic. It's not too dark or disturbing, and I was worried that it might be. It's honestly just wonderful and powerful and moving and you should see it.


THE WRESTLER - Another really good movie. It's got a rather staggering amount of gritty/raw/offensive material... but the acting is superb and the story is extremely powerful. The Micky Rourke "comeback performance" is every bit as good as the hype. I can't really describe what I liked the most about it without ruining it for any of you who might want to see it. But man, it's one of those movies where you sit in silence for 10 to 15 minutes into the credits. Even if you really really have to go to the bathroom.

Dearly Debearded

The World = 1
My Beard = 0

It was fun while it lasted. Enjoy the documentation of Beardy's demise last week.

beard out of my mind

just a couple beard progress photos for you to enjoy.
look at that glorious shag.

Time for Some Proud Fatherly Gloating

Today, Karissa and I (and our little Pookasha) are coming off of our best night of sleep since Finley was floating in amneotic fluid. It was glorious, I tell you. Finn was in his crib from 6:00pm (his usual bedtime) until 5:45am (his average typical wake-up time) with only ONE feeding at MIDNIGHT!!!

This was a remarkable feat, as many nights -especially recently- he has been waking up every 2-3 hours. He definitely woke up and fussed a couple other times, but he put himself back to sleep in a matter of minutes. K and I awoke from 5 consecutive hours of sleep this morning, and felt as though we had emerged from the roborant slumber of the gods.

Could it be a coincidence that last night was our first attempt at using special "overnight" diapers?


Regardless, I'm feeling inspired to brag on the little man for a few paragraphs.

*Although he is only 7 months old, we are quite positive he has already developed a small vocabulary, which includes the following words: bath, up, mama, and dada
Although he is not perfectly consistent with his usage, he has blurted out all four words (or at least his version of those words) at shockingly frequent and appropriate times... especially bath and up ... the former takes the form of a maniacal "Bah bah bah bah bah bah" (along with flailing and thrashing about excitedly in our arms) whenever we take him into the bathroom and start filling up the tub ... the latter typically accompanies raised arms, slight-to-moderate fussiness, and manifests as a repeated "puh, puh, puh" sound. At the very least, he definitely knows what those words mean.

*Finley is also now way into giving kisses ... mostly to Mommy, as Daddy's beard and unfettered morning hair tend to confuse and overwhelm him a little bit. But all we have to do is ask him to "give mommy kisses", and he will clasp her head in both hands, and plant his wide open, drooly lips on her face .... usually with a loud ahhhhhh kissing sound. He has also kissed Uncle Nate and Nicole G... neither of whom have beards.

*Finley is not a Biblical name...apparently ... and being good Christian kids, we naturally feel very guilty about this. We already weep with shame thinking about our poor little son attending future Sunday School classes with hordes of little Josiahs, Elijahs, Joshuas, Ephriams, and Mele Kalikimakas. So, to compensate for our decision to give him such a profoudly secular name, we have begun calling him Finnbosheth. We feel it has the good, pious ring of a Minor Prophet, at the very least. Derivatives can include, but are not limited to: Finnbo, Bosheth, Litto Finnbosheth, and The Bosheth.

*Although he has not yet started crawling, he has become a "rolling over" addict.... specifically from back to front. Although this is a great milestone, he still struggles with going from front to back. This is mainly a problem due to the fact that he is unable to sleep on his tummy. During naps and after bedtime, we will frequently hear him grunting and fussing on the baby monitor, like a confused, exhausted, beached manatee ... and one of us has to go in and flip him back over ... whereupon he will usually go straight back to sleep.



*Also, today, we are celebrating the arrival of a new coffee machine. Our old one died yesterday, and we could not endure the reality of a single day without our essential caffeine intake mechanism. It's got a touch screen, kids! Plus, it has a special breast milk-integration system that allows Finley to enjoy a morning (sippy) cup of joe with us as we watch the Today Show together every morning. I didn't realize how much babies enjoyed coffee.

Take That, Peanut Butter Recall!

Paranoid about getting salmonella from peanut butter products?

Not this guy. I'm sitting here enjoying my #1 favorite snack:

Peanut butter-filled pretzel bites. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

They're so delicious, it would definitely be worth a couple days in the hospital.

It's a Beardiful Thing

Here are the latest pictures of me and my beard. It is now officially "too long"... in terms of nice-looking beards, that is. Now all I can do is hope that I am able to maintain the the pseudo-ironic, change-of-pace, devil-may-care look that I'm going for, and avoid a headlong plunge into "homeless chic". We shall see...

For now, enjoy these superfluous (and to most of you, probably somewhat disturbing) pictures of me, interspersed with some high-quality Beard quotes gleaned from Wikipedia.

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"There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one." -Greek saying



"A woman with a beard looks like a man. A man without a beard looks like a woman." - Afghan Saying

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"The beard is the handsomeness of the face, and a wife is the joy in a man's heart." - R' Akiva, Eicha Rabbah



Leonato: You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
Beatrice: What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him… -William Shakespeare - Excerpt from Much Ado About Nothing – Act 2, Scene I

To Beard or Not To Beard (quoth the Bard)

I'm a musician. I have sensitive skin. I'm a little lazy. And I sometimes go days without leaving the house. Therefore, I only shave once or twice a week. So I'm always looking a little scraggly.

And every once in a while, I decide to full on go for it, and grow a real man-beard. I rarely get past 2 week's growth. Mainly because it's really uncomfortable, and my wife regards my bewhiskerment with no small amount of disdain. I had a quasi-man-beard last july, when Finley was born. It was a valiant, yet meager attempt, and it never achieved the true beardal glory I've always dreamed about.

However, I quickly became tired of impaling Finn's precious newborn cheeks with my lip daggers every time I tried to give him a kiss (roughly 60-70 times per day). Since the tender age of 12, I have been the proud owner of one of those ferocious mustaches that just grows straight out of my face, impervious to gravity... like bamboo.

I know most people don't like the look of big, bushy beards. And frankly, most people have trouble pulling the look off without conjuring up images of vikings, psych ward residents, exiled dictators, or struggling, middle-aged actors:

I am also aware that most people (including the Mrs.) believe that I, personally, look considerably less attractive in my bearded state, and that my unattractivness increases in direct proportion to the amount of hair that I allow to roam freely between my jawline and cheekbones.

However, I think every God-fearing man should grow a scraggly beard at least once in their lifetime... just to see what it's like. And just to keep the God-fearing women in our lives from taking our soft cheeks and bare chins for granted.

Also, I have always been fascinated by the idea that underneath the occasional humongous beard, there is actually an attractive man-face. There's an intriguing sense of mystery there... beneath the initial shock and repulsion of the average passerby, there lies a sort of skeptical, head-tilting, squinty-eyed curiosity... like you know people are thinking, "Wow, he would look so much better without that monstrous beard." In fact, the primary inspiration for my frequent forrays into facial forestry is none other than the mostest attractavest of man-faces.

Behold:

(sigh)

Now, I'm definitely not saying I can pull it off because Brad Pitt can pull it off. In fact, that's probably the worst reason for me to try anything. But can't you just see the logic? Why be boring old regular Brad Pitt when you can be Unabomber Brad Pitt?

Here are some of my other favorite inspirational beards:

(the gentlemen of mewithoutYou)

(other chaps)

Also, if you're still not convinced that beard-growing is the greatest thing in the world, please visit this site: http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

I could not bear to let my neck hair grow out, so perhaps in a way I've failed already. However, I have not shaved my actual face since mid-December, and I plan to continue growing it until such a time as its presence would either: 1) prevent me from sleeping, wearing a football helmet, or walking through small doorways, 2) jeopardize my marriage due to a wife-imposed ban on facial contact, or 3) create an ideal nesting habitat for small migratory birds.

Also, this may really boost my chances of securing the role of Jesus in the Easter Play.

Here's a recent photo of me, and my face, and my beard (attached):

I will do my best keep this blog updated on Beardy's progress. We'll see how long I can endure this unbelievable itching.

The (Other) Thing That is Keeping Us Up At Night

So, we are house-shopping. We have decided that, in this down market, we will be able to afford a house that we could never have afforded 2 years ago, and that we will never be able to afford 2 years from now. The problem is, of course, selling our place. It goes on the market "officially" on Friday... so that's pretty exciting and terrifying. In the meantime, we've been scouring the internet for home sales, and we have taken a couple day trips around town with our Realtor.

We love the idea of living somewhere urban, close to downtown, etc... but we're having trouble finding places that are the size we need, at the price we need, in a place we like. The classic Real Estate conundrum. We've looked at places all over, from ransacked bungalows in Highlands to icky, boring, tri-levels in Littleton. Foundation issues? Trash, mud, and dirty laundry EVERYWHERE? Freaky Hannibal Lector Basements? People Hiding in the Bathroom? We've seen it all. If we were playing "Perils of House Shopping Bingo," we'd have already walked away with the Grand Prize (a $40 gift certificate to Old Country Buffet).

So far, we've seen a lot of horrible, horrible houses. But we've also seen some really wonderful houses. Realtors tell you never to fall in love with a house before you've sold your own. Good, solid advice. So, we haven't fallen in love. But we are deeply, passionately in LIKE with a few places we've seen. Here are our three favorites so far.

"The Mansion"


This place is our most recent discovery. We haven't actually been inside yet, but we've seen some pictures, and we drove by it yesterday. Karissa even got brave enough to get out of the car, walk up the sidewalk, and stand in the front yard for 12 seconds. It's hard to imagine something like this is in our budget, but it is.... barely. If it were in a trendier location, it would be selling for 2 to 3 times more... but the neighborhood is definitely "transitional." (Bruce Randolph and Colorado-ish) It apparently needs a TON of work, but it has updated electrical, plumbing, and, shockingly, AC. Although we originally decided we didn't want to live in a fixer-upper (because I am completely worthless at fixing things up), this house just might be too cool to pass up. It was built in 1890, has 4 beds, 4 baths, and an "attic retreat", which has me salivating uncontrollably. It sits up on a hill just northeast of downtown, and I'm assuming that the views from the second floor are probably unbelievable. We'll hopefully get to go inside early next week. More updates to come if it's half as amazing on the inside as we hope it is.

"Williams Street"


This is a totally gorgeous Victorian house that we saw in the dark a few weeks ago. But what we saw, we loved. It was also built in the late 1800's, and it has amazing everything: 4 bedrooms, a formal dining room, fireplace, bannisters... and the best part, a little bedroom/study right off the kitchen. (We've decided that's where my home office/studio would be.) Worst thing and best thing about this house... location. It's right between Five Points and City Park, on 26th and Williams street... the neighborhood itself feels super safe and nice...and we could walk to City Park or drive downtown in about 2 minutes. However, the house is directly across the street from a pretty notorious inner-city high school, Manual High. But, from what we hear, the high school is in the process of a complete overhaul, and is improving dramatically; also, the neighboorhood itself is on a huge upswing... $650,000+ homes are being built all around, and all the old homes are being snapped up and restored.... so if this place is still on the market after we sell ours, we're going to have a pretty hard time not making an offer on it.

"Chase Street"

The least dramatic of the three, the Chase street house isn't nearly as bland on the inside as it is on the outside. It's the prototypical "sprawling ranch" of 1950's Lakewood... and it is quite large (6 bedrooms), and almost completely remodeled. The kitchen and living room are absolutely beautiful. Plus it has a finished basement and a massive yard with a big patio... and is in a very safe neighborhood. In fact, it's only about 6 blocks away from our current house. So this is the "sensible" alternative to our wild-eyed dreams of buying 100 year-old homes in sketchy urban neighborhoods. It'd be a really nice place to live. We just don't know if we're ready to give up our dreams of living in the city just yet.

MUCH more to come over the next weeks and months ... Yikes! We is havings of fun times now, please?

The Pea That Would Not Be Flushed

The toilet in our upstairs bathroom has a seriously weak flush, people ... and I thought you should probably know about it. As a particularly disgusting and graphic illustration of this problem, I present to you: The Pea That Would Not Be Flushed -


What a remarkable little pea. It has survived, just floating there in the bowl, for almost 2 days. Amazing.
I will keep you posted.

Horrible Parenting 101

So, like most Mondays, I was in charge of Finn for most of the day today. Normally, I'm a very attentive-ish sort of parental unit... but today, we had a little adventure. Finley has been sitting up by himself for a while now, but he has recently developed the ability to suddenly launch himself onto his stomach from a sitting position. For some reason today, I momentarily forgot about his ever-increasing mobility, and I left him sitting alone in the chair -like I have dozens of times - while I went to collect the trash from the other room. The following is a photographic re-enactment of what happened next.

When I left the room, Finn was sitting happily, like this:


When I came back, about 60 seconds later, he had assumed a new position:


He was just laying there watching Sesame Street, like nothing interesting had happened.

After I got over the initial surge of panic and did a frantic inspection for broken bones and bruises, I realized that he was totally fine. And now I think it's pretty much hysterical. That's officially the furthest he has ever traveled by himself, so in a way, I'm proud. It takes a brave little boy to somersault off a piece of furniture ... but I'll probably have that image burned into my mind for a long time.

Please, Lemme 'Splain

You MUST add a visit to this website to your weekly routine. It's like VH-1's "Best Week Ever" meets Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.


Here's his extremely witty and creative 2008 year in review:
http://www.unclejayexplains.com/media/UJ%2012-22-08.wmv/