To Beard or Not To Beard (quoth the Bard)

I'm a musician. I have sensitive skin. I'm a little lazy. And I sometimes go days without leaving the house. Therefore, I only shave once or twice a week. So I'm always looking a little scraggly.

And every once in a while, I decide to full on go for it, and grow a real man-beard. I rarely get past 2 week's growth. Mainly because it's really uncomfortable, and my wife regards my bewhiskerment with no small amount of disdain. I had a quasi-man-beard last july, when Finley was born. It was a valiant, yet meager attempt, and it never achieved the true beardal glory I've always dreamed about.

However, I quickly became tired of impaling Finn's precious newborn cheeks with my lip daggers every time I tried to give him a kiss (roughly 60-70 times per day). Since the tender age of 12, I have been the proud owner of one of those ferocious mustaches that just grows straight out of my face, impervious to gravity... like bamboo.

I know most people don't like the look of big, bushy beards. And frankly, most people have trouble pulling the look off without conjuring up images of vikings, psych ward residents, exiled dictators, or struggling, middle-aged actors:

I am also aware that most people (including the Mrs.) believe that I, personally, look considerably less attractive in my bearded state, and that my unattractivness increases in direct proportion to the amount of hair that I allow to roam freely between my jawline and cheekbones.

However, I think every God-fearing man should grow a scraggly beard at least once in their lifetime... just to see what it's like. And just to keep the God-fearing women in our lives from taking our soft cheeks and bare chins for granted.

Also, I have always been fascinated by the idea that underneath the occasional humongous beard, there is actually an attractive man-face. There's an intriguing sense of mystery there... beneath the initial shock and repulsion of the average passerby, there lies a sort of skeptical, head-tilting, squinty-eyed curiosity... like you know people are thinking, "Wow, he would look so much better without that monstrous beard." In fact, the primary inspiration for my frequent forrays into facial forestry is none other than the mostest attractavest of man-faces.

Behold:

(sigh)

Now, I'm definitely not saying I can pull it off because Brad Pitt can pull it off. In fact, that's probably the worst reason for me to try anything. But can't you just see the logic? Why be boring old regular Brad Pitt when you can be Unabomber Brad Pitt?

Here are some of my other favorite inspirational beards:

(the gentlemen of mewithoutYou)

(other chaps)

Also, if you're still not convinced that beard-growing is the greatest thing in the world, please visit this site: http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

I could not bear to let my neck hair grow out, so perhaps in a way I've failed already. However, I have not shaved my actual face since mid-December, and I plan to continue growing it until such a time as its presence would either: 1) prevent me from sleeping, wearing a football helmet, or walking through small doorways, 2) jeopardize my marriage due to a wife-imposed ban on facial contact, or 3) create an ideal nesting habitat for small migratory birds.

Also, this may really boost my chances of securing the role of Jesus in the Easter Play.

Here's a recent photo of me, and my face, and my beard (attached):

I will do my best keep this blog updated on Beardy's progress. We'll see how long I can endure this unbelievable itching.